The Mentor
by vampiresunburns
Summary: Basically, Greg gets a mentor and romance, drama, and hilarity ensues. Rodrick/OC may be T or M depending on later chapters
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

"A city of apathy,

Heralding blasphemy

Shouted from rooftops

Caught like Persephone-"

"Sorry for interrupting, Keira Blackfoot, please report to the main office. Thank you," the droning voice of the office attendant cut into my English presentation. I groaned and gathered my papers.

"Hurry up please, we need to get to the next poet!" My ditzy English teacher exclaimed. I sighed, already walking out the door. I jogged down the hall of the high school, wondering what could be in store for me at the principal's office. Before I arrived, I remembered that I had signed up to mentor a freshman a few weeks earlier. That must be why they called me, to give me a little freshie!

When I stepped into the main office's waiting room, the attendant just pointed at the principal's door. I smiled at her, hoping that would cheer her a bit, and knocked on the door.

"Come in! Ah, Keira, just the lady I wanted to see!" Principal Bastion grinned at the senior.

"Hey Principal Bastion, what's up? I'm assuming this has to do with the mentoring program I signed up for?" I examined her face and found a smile of approval.

"I'm glad you remembered, and yes. Your freshman is Greg Heffley. Ask around and figure out who he is, because he's taking a test at the moment and I can't call him out class in the middle of it," She handed me a schedule and patted me on the back. "Thanks for coming by."

"No problem," but it's not like I had a choice, I thought.

During lunch, I asked my friends and they all said they had no idea who he was. So, I found some freshmen who pointed Greg out to me. He was on the cusp of attractive, as most freshmen are. A little taller than average, skinny with dark hair and light eyes, I couldn't tell their exact color from that distance. I moseyed on over to him and sat down at his table. A hush fell over the ninth graders as I plopped myself into a seat and stuck out my hand to Greg, whose eyes, I discovered, were a bright blue.

"Hey, I'm Keira. I'm going to be your mentor for the duration of the school year. Basically I help you and guide you and stuff," I smiled reassuringly at him and he relaxed a bit.

"Hey Keira, I'm Greg and I guess you're going to be mentoring me!" Greg laughed brightly but a little nervously and shook my proffered hand.

"Alright cool, meet me by the doors after school. I'm sure you'll be able to find me!" I laughed.

"Yeah, you are pretty distinctive," Greg chuckled in agreement.

And I guess I am, with my hair in a bright blue buzzcut and my clunky boots and facial piercings.

"Alright, well see ya in a bit," I waved good bye and returned to my table to finish lunch.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

After school, I waited for Greg to find me. I spotted him looking around, oblivious to the fact that I stood only a couple yards away from him.

"Hey Greg!" I shouted. That sure got his attention as he whipped around and lit up when he saw who yelled.

"Hey Keira!" He scampered over to me.

"Wassup? Also where's your house? I thought we could do some homework together," I felt pleased that Greg seemed enthusiastic as he gave me directions. "Alright, cool. I shall see you there in a few! Wait, how are you getting home?" I inquired.

"Oh, don't worry, my brother is picking me up in his van," Greg reassured me.

"Oh ok, I'm taking my bike so you'll be home way before I get there!" With that, I hopped on my bike and pedaled off. When I arrived, panting and slightly sweaty, the van was parked and the boys in the house. I sighed, caught my breath, and wiped the sweat off my face before knocking on the door.

An unfamiliar female face greeted me as she opened the door. This lady was obviously someone's mother but had aged well, with red hair and eyes that twinkled behind thick frames.

"Hi! Are you here for Rodrick? I'm Susan Heffley, Rodrick's mother!" She spoke rapidly and enthusiastically. Clearly, this was where Greg got his happy demeanor.

"Actually, I'm here for Greg, you see-"

"Greg has a girlfriend? Oh, finally my little boy is growing up!" Susan gasped excitedly.

"No ma'am, I'm actually his mentor. The seniors who signed up were paired with a freshman whom we, including me, would then guide and help throughout the transition to high school," I explained.

Susan was about to speak until Greg popped his head around her side.

"Hey Keira! You found us!" Greg smiled and waved me in as Susan nodded, as if satisfied with something, and walked away.

"Thanks Ms. Heffley!" I called after her.

"Please, call me Susan!" She replied pleasantly.

"Alright, Susan," I said, trying out the new name.

Greg pulled me to the living room and apologized for his mom.

"It's alright. I was kinda freaked out that she thought you were my girlfriend, though," I laughed.

"Oh yeah, sorry about that. She thinks every girl I bring over is my girlfriend," Greg groaned.

"Oh, you cheating on me now, eh?" I nudged him and winked.

"Most definitely, I got all the girls!" Greg joked with me for a bit.

A couple minutes later we started on homework. Pretty soon, Greg's mysterious brother appeared. Dark, choppy hair and light brown, slightly feline eyes. Tan skin and a mischievous, magnetic aura. Overall, extremely alluring. That is, until he opened his mouth.

"Yo twerp, what's this bald, chubby girl doing here?" He took a sip from his cup of what I assumed was juice and examined me. Greg stuttered with fear and anger, but I'm able to stick up for myself.

"Hey Greg, what's this twiggy asshole doing here?" I glared.

The brother sputtered and stomped off.

"Sorry about that, he's my brother Rodrick. And yes, he's a twiggy asshole." Greg giggled and continued, "He's in college but it seems like he's mentally still in middle school!"

I hmmphed and continued helping Greg with his math homework while finishing mine, which required a carefully finagled system of patience and multi-tasking.

Finally, Greg moaned and massaged his forehead, "I'm so done, Keira please have mercy!"

"Alright, alright! We can stop," I laughed.

Susan called for dinner and I realized how late it was.

"I really have to get going!" I exclaimed, just as Susan cut in with an invitation to stay for dinner. I thought about it and then acquiesced with a smile. Family dinners were rare in my house and I thought it would be nice to have one for a change.

Susan called everyone to the table, filled with food of course, including her husband, Frank, and the obnoxious Rodrick. I, unfortunately, sat across from Rodrick. I tried to pay attention to a delicious meal of roast, green beans, and mashed potatoes but Rodrick's eating habits, while fascinating, were mildly disgusting. He shoveled food down his throat, chewing and smacking loudly. Pretty soon, five minutes later to be exact, he finished the meal and disappeared up the stairs.

Frank groaned and rolled his eyes. Susan only sighed and smiled fondly, "Honey, he's expressing himself!"

"Well he could express himself a little more quietly!" Frank threw his hands over his head in exasperation.

"I'm sorry, but what?" I cocked an eyebrow in confusion.

Susan answered as Frank opened his mouth to speak, "Oh, Rodrick has this little band. They practice in the garage after dinner!"

"Oh okay, do you think I could stay to hear them play?" I felt curious to see if the twig had any scrap of talent.

"Of course! Look here he comes now, my little rockstar!" Susan cooed as Rodrick trumped down the stairs, drumsticks in hand.

"Ugh, mom!" Rodrick shouted, very unlike a rockstar, in my opinion. I giggled as he huffed into the garage and started beating the drums. About ten minutes later, I heard the rest of the band trickle in and start setting up. Then I heard the vocals.

"LOADED DIAPER! EXPLODED DIAPER!…"

I cringed at the horrific lyrics, immediately conjuring actual, meaningful words from my mind. I turned slightly disdained eyes back towards the Heffleys. Susan had a pained smile pasted across her face while Frank's twisted into a grimace. Greg was just calmly eating and silently laughing at my expression, I'm sure.

Although the lyrics sucked ass, the actual vocals and band sounded pretty good, some might even say they were talented.

"Um, has anyone ever tried to write, yaknow, actual lyrics for them? Because they obviously can't write themselves," I raised an eyebrow at the rattling door leading to the garage.

"No, I prefer to just let them be, in order to express their emotions more freely!" Susan closed her eyes and sighed inaudibly as she spoke.

"Are you thinking of helping them? Do you write?" Shocked enthusiasm replaced Frank's grimace.

"Yes, my poetry has been showcased in various contests and newspapers, local and national," I explained with pride.

"Oh! Then you could definitely help them!" Frank flinched as an especially discordant note struck his eardrums.

"Alright, I think I will," I promised, already formulating a plan of the conversation. Ew, I'm going to have to spend quality time with Rodrick, I realized. Well, it's a sacrifice I will have to make, I guess.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

The next day, Greg offered to give me a ride in Rodrick's van instead of me having to bike all the way to his house. I was grateful because that ride is tiring as hell. However, Rodrick. Hopefully, his attitude improved from yesterday.

I unlocked my bike from the rack and waited with Greg in front of the school.

We waited. And waited. And waited.

Finally, thirty long minutes later, a white van with "Löded Diper" messily painted on the side pulled up.

The window rolled down and Rodrick's face looked out from the driver's seat.

"Twerp, get in the back. Girl, you can sit up front," Rodrick directed.

"No offense Keira, but why do you get to sit up front?" Greg looked disgruntled.

"Because she's not a little runt like you," Rodrick replied nastily.

"Because I have a vagina," I answered simultaneously.

"I think I like Keira's answer better," Greg rolled his eyes.

With that, Greg hopped in the back and I in the passenger seat, after passing my bike to Greg, hoping it didn't crush him during the drive. We sped off, even before I buckled myself in. I heard several crashes and bangs from the back of the van.

Worried, I asked Greg if he was okay.

"I'm fine," he replied with a pained grunt.

"If you say so," I skeptically pursed my lips.

A bit later, the van lurched to a stop in front of the Heffley house. I fell out of the van, a little dizzy from Rodrick's driving, as did Greg. Rodrick calmly swung out of the driver's seat, of course.

Greg and I took a couple seconds to steady ourselves while Rodrick, nonchalant as ever, waltzed into the house. We followed him into the living room and set up our homework while Rodrick went to the kitchen, because apparently driving was thirsty work. While I helped Greg with homework, Rodrick dashed up the stairs to his room in the attic. Nothing new, so I concentrated on explaining algebra to my mentee.

About ten minutes later, I heard Rodrick clatter down the stairs. I assumed he and his thirsty ass was going for some more juice. Unexpectedly, Rodrick sauntered into the living room and dropped his annoying buttocks down next to me.

Greg and I looked at each other, then warily at the young man scribbling on a well-worn piece of paper next to me.

"Um, okay," I drew the word out a little.

Rodrick looked up from his frantic scribbling, "What? A guy can't sit in his own living room?"

"No, not when his name is Rodrick," I raised my eyebrows at him.

"Deal with it!" Rodrick replied saucily, raising his eyebrows back.

I huffed out a laugh and rolled my eyes. Rodrick smiled in return, surprisingly enough. A little dazzled, I gave him a half-smile and returned to my homework, already done helping Greg.

After a while, Greg and I both finished our respective assignments. Rodrick had turned on the television by that time and was watching some cartoon.

"So, now what?" Greg asked me.

"Well, if it's not too late we could go to a movie at that theatre down the street. I hear they're playing Rocky Horror Picture Show!" I suggested.

"What's that?" Greg looked genuinely interested.

I gasped, "We definitely need to go, then!"

Greg skittered off to go ask Susan if we could miss dinner.

"So, you like Rocky Horror Picture Show too? It's a great movie," Rodrick grinned. He had an amazing smile, part genuine, part wicked. It was a rather intoxicating combination. Oh lord, I thought, I can't be attracted to this guy! He's a complete ass! But, I guess I was starting to like him, or at least his smile.

I snapped back to reality, "Yeah, it is. You could come along if you wanted."

"Nah, I have to work on songs," Rodrick flashed another smile.

"Oh, is that what that paper is?" I inquired.

"Yeah," Rodrick suddenly became shy and I decided not to push the subject.

We chatted a bit more while Greg convinced his mom to let us miss the familial ritual that is dinner. I learned a lot about Rodrick in those few minutes. Like, he's pretty charming and funny, if not the most intellectual. More importantly, Rodrick was willing to allow me to help him and his band with lyrics, provided that I showed him my poetry beforehand. I agreed and with that, Greg returned and dragged me away from Rodrick towards the movies.

We walked to the theatre, as it was only a brisk twenty minutes away. We bought our tickets and stepped through the doors just as the movie started.

A couple hours later, we bounced through the theatre. We, especially Greg, raved about the movie the entire way home. We parted ways at Greg's front door, where we hugged and I grabbed my bike. Greg went inside and I cycled home.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

Further in the school year, near Thanksgiving break, Greg accosted me in school. He excitedly informed me that his parents are going away for a weekend and Rodrick wants to throw a party. Greg also told me that he and Rodrick already planned most of it out, they just needed someone to help set up.

"Oh wow, now I know why you keep me around!" I joked.

"Pshhh! You know we love you!" Greg laughingly replied. I wondered who "we" were, possibly Rodrick was included?

Since the party started Saturday evening, I showed up on the Heffley's doorstep at about noon that Saturday. Rodrick opened the door at my knock, looking sleepy and disheveled. I was embarrassed to find him rather sexy. Goddammit, I thought. When I smiled at him, he lit up for a second. Then, the illusion passed as he rolled his eyes and called for his brother.

"Wimp! Your tutor or whatever is here!"

I rolled my eyes in return and walked under Rodrick's arm, learning that he smelled amazing, and ignoring his "Hey, I didn't let you in!" in favor of hugging Greg. I ruffled Greg's soft hair and he wriggled away from me, giggling.

I clapped my hands together "Alright guys, what do we need to do?"

Rodrick, who is apparently party planner extraordinaire, jumped in with directions. Greg was to grab tables, I was to make refreshments, "Because vagina!", which meant that I hauled coolers and ice around. Rodrick placed himself in charge of music, which I made sure was danceable. Rodrick's friends brought the booze and I stashed some in carefully placed coolers, all blue, leaving one red cooler for non-alcoholic beverages. After that, we gathered up all the fragile items and chucked them in the basement, my brilliant idea.

The set-up finished, I realized, thanks to Rodrick, that my attire was entirely inappropriate to the event. In other words, my clothing was comfy and rather dorky, not revealing and enticing. I floundered for a bit, because I needed clothes but I couldn't bring Rodrick to my house. Finally, I hit upon a solution.

"Rodrick, grab the van," I ordered.

"Um, okay?" Rodrick looked taken aback at my sudden authority.

In the van, I directed him through the roughest ghetto in town. Stopping in front of what could only be called a shack, Rodrick's face reflected his fear. Suddenly, five or ten amigos covered in gang tattoos spilled out of the shack. They started circling the van, raising eyebrows at the löded diper logo. Completely at ease, I hopped out the van and shut the door, cutting off Rodrick's squeak of protest. Upon sighting me, the amigos enthusiastically greeted me in Spanish.

"¡Hola! ¿Como estás, niña? Long time no see, eh?" (Hey! How are you, girl?)

"Sí, yo sé. Lo siento!" (Yes, I know. I'm sorry!) I apologized.

We chatted a little bit longer and laughed at Rodrick's look of shock.

"¡Este chico parece ser simpático y hermoso, pero un poquito estúpido! ¿Es su novio?" (This boy seems to be nice and handsome, but a little stupid! Is he your boyfriend?) An older amigo I considered my father inquired.

"¡No, no, no! Y sí, él es hermoso y estúpido, ¿pero simpático? No." (No, no, no! And yes, he is handsome and stupid, but nice? No.) I vehemently denied the possibilities.

"¿Por qué no nos encuentra él?" (Why doesn't he meet us?) My "father" wondered.

"Porque él teme de ustedes," (Because he's scared of you guys) I informed him. Everyone laughed and smiled at Rodrick, who nodded stiffly back.

"Hmmmph. ¡Él va a encontrarnos!" (Hmmmph. He is going to meet us!) With that, I pulled Rodrick out of the van, brushed him off a bit, and presented him to my replacement family, whom I lovingly call the amigos.

"Rodrick, say hi! They don't bite. Much," I winked at everyone.

"Um, hi," Rodrick waved weakly.

"Hey pretty boy!" One of my "brothers", Angel, catcalled.

Rodrick's eyes widened and he jerked his head back.

"Hush, Angel. What's your name? I'm Paco," my "father" introduced himself.

"Hi Paco, my name is Rodrick?" He questioned his own name, the poor guy was so nervous.

"Well, you know Paco, my papa, and Angel, my brother. My other brothers are Jesus, David, Jose, Luis, and Paco Jr. The rest of my family is inside," I grinned and led Rodrick inside the shack.

"Wait, you're Spanish?" Rodrick furrowed his brow in confusion.

"No, my real family kinda bailed on me, so these guys are the family I've chosen," I explained, "I'm half Cherokee and half German, don't ask me how that happened."

When we got inside, the smells of heavenly, homemade Mexican food greeted our noses. The lights were on and the salsa music blasting. Rodrick laughed incredulously, probably shocked at the amount of happiness stuffed into such a tiny home.

I left Rodrick to learn the wonders of Mexicans while I went up with my sister's, Carmen and Marisa, to get dressed and my face painted with makeup. After a good hour of plucking, puckering, and pulling, I stood in front of the mirror. A vision in black, I felt exposed in the tight minidress that showed off the curves I never even knew I had. My face looked smooth and radiant with long lashes and red lips. Basically, I was one sexy motherfucker. I returned to the kitchen, my red stilettos clacking on the tile, to find Rodrick stuffing his face and laughing with my family as if he'd known them since the dawn of time. When everyone noticed me, the room grew maddeningly silent. I was about to grow self-conscious until my brothers bursted into whistles and tongue rolls. My father nodded in cautious approval and winked at Rodrick, who looked as if he'd seen God for the first time. I grinned at his gape and walked out the door towards the van, swinging my hips, hopefully looking seductive. Apparently it worked, cuz Rodrick followed like a zombie and everyone followed him for hugs, kisses, and goodbyes.

We got to the house just as the party started.

"Yo, can I borrow your eyeliner?" Rodrick raised his eyebrows, daring me to question him.

Rodrick in eyeliner? Hell yes! "Sure," I tossed it to him. I just about died after he slathered the black kohl around his eyes and blinked at me innocently. I gulped, nodded and carefully stepped out of the van. Rodrick followed suit with a "I could have helped you or something, yaknow." I told him thanks and walked up the steps with him towards the raging party in progress.


End file.
